Find The Right Cross Cultural Dating Site

In the old, repressive days of apartheid prior to Mandela’s release that lasted until about 1996, huge sectors of the black South African population would have had little access to computers, let alone any slick online dating service.

How have things changed for the better?

Today, a new breed of people has emerged – a new exciting breed known as Black Diamonds! The South African Government’s Black Economic Empowerment policy has freed up vast amounts of money and enabled them to become a fast growing, hugely affluent, influential and important market. Currently many Black Diamonds drive state of the art motor cars such as the finest Mercedes or even Bentlys and Rolls Royces, wear the best clothes available and live in palatial homes – eight bedroom homes in the very suburbs such as Sandown, that once were the exclusive stamping ground of rich white people. They date smart ladies and vice versa. Many have attained University degrees and their children attend the most exclusive private schools, speaking English with “posh” accents. So much so that this is seen as a status symbol. Statistics show that 84% of Black Diamond’s children attend such independent schools e.g. St John’s College and Bishops in Cape Town, whilst 46% have access to huge credit with banks. In stark contrast 84% have accumulated extensive debt in the current harsh financial times. Some 86% still believe in the old tribal system of Labola, where a suitor “bought” his wife from his father-in-law with cattle.

Many Black Diamonds are now hugely computer literate and have access to computers at work as well as their own laptops at home. Obviously many of them come face to face with online dating and they need to find the right service to satisfy their dating activities. In cyberspace there are innumerable dating sites and the internet is virtually overcrowded with them. People linking up with potential partners on dating sites need to have the assurance that one can confidently find the right partner amongst a sea of suitors. Hooking up with the right people becomes a serious priority and the internet has become the fastest, easiest way of finding partners near your hood.

It is very important to find the correct person by taking a compatibility test on the dating site. One also wants to stand out from the crowd and it is important to post the most effective, clean looking pictures without too much nudity. Above all when one does finally identify some one who stands out above the rest, it is important to espouse a policy of safety. Always make sure that you meet the person you have identified with in a fairly crowded place and always tell a friend where you are going!

An important way to get hold of the right partner is to make use of the site [http://www.blackdiamonddating.co.za] as the users are international, cross cultural, screened and from the upper crust!

Cross Cultural Relationship – 4 Tips For Blending With The Family

One of the biggest challenges of dealing with a cross-cultural relationship is hitting a favorable equation with your extended family. If they are not a very open-minded set of people, it won’t be easy for you and neither will it be easy for them. However, it may be important to your partner that his family and you can blend in together, so appreciate his sentiment in trying, and be aware of a few things if you want your cross cultural relationship to bloom.

  • Initial Hostility Not Directed At ‘You’

To begin with, in a cross cultural relationship, you need to be prepared for some level of initial hostility or discomfort. The family, and especially his/her parents, may have had a more traditional expectation from his partner. Since you obviously don’t fit the bill, you may feel judged and rejected. However, be mature about this, if you can. They are not judging you the individual, only you as a representative of your culture, and the fact that you are not what they expected. If you are patient, they might get over this initial hurdle and begin to appreciate your personality and qualities.

  • Be Sensitive To Their Values and Customs

You need to make a special effort to be sensitive to his/her family’s values, culture and traditions even if they are not prepared to do the same. Remember that you and your partner had the capability and the perspective to be able to choose someone from another culture. They have got forced into accepting the choice, and may not be as broad-minded as you. So, considering an example, if his/her family has a custom where one is required to bow before the elders, see if you can adopt it while you are with them. You may even be required to dress in a certain way. These are small things that can help you bridge a big cultural gap. If they see that you are making an effort to blend in with them and respect their sentiments, you may in turn earn a lot of respect from the family. Remember cross cultural relationships are more demanding and require greater understanding of your partners culture and values.

  • He Is Still On Your Side

No matter what treatment you face from your partner’s parents and other family members, don’t start to equate your partner with them. Remember, he/she is not ‘one of them.’ He/she is on your side just as much as theirs, so it is best if you take him in confidence and get his/her help to get over this hurdle. This is not easy on him/her either, so if you take out your frustrations on him/her, it will not be fair and will do your cross-cultural relationship no good.

  • You Are Who You Are

In any relationship and specially in a cross cultural relationship, you need to accept that no matter how hard you try, if they are not willing to take a step forward, you will never be able to gain the respect of his/her family. So, don’t bend over backwards trying to please them. If you are seriously uncomfortable participating in a certain custom or behaving in a certain way, don’t get pushed into it. The first person you should be talking to is your partner. Communicate how you are feeling, and if you are too shy or embarrassed confronting his/her family, let him/her do it on your behalf. Finally, they have to learn to look beyond their differences and respect you for who you are. If that doesn’t happen, don’t be totally disheartened. You may still have your partner’s support, which is essentially all you need to make your cross-cultural relationship work.

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Cross Cultural Dating – How to Impress Thai Women

It’s not always easy to get along with some women but you might have a better chance if you think about how you are doing it. This is particularly the case when dating a Thai woman. You can impress Thai women if you use a few ideas in mind to get beyond the gaps of cross cultural dating.

The first thing to do is to show an interest in a woman’s entire family. Family is a huge concept in Thai life as the entire family is often viewed in this culture as more important than just one person. You have to appreciate not only her but the rest of her family when trying to make her feel better about herself. The family aspect of your date should be considered to give you something that’s right for your relationship.

You also have to think about how you are attached to money. The best way to attract a Thai woman is to show that you are not all that concerned about money in the first place. Women like men who are not worried about money and this is especially the case where people are taught to avoid thinking about money too much. The hard work that one uses in order to get this money will certainly be worth it.

It is also important to give a Thai woman some breathing room in your relationship. One point about Thai women that cannot be ignored is that they tend to be more interested in men who are willing to let them be who they are without having to force them into behaving in some other way that they’re not familiar with. You should do this to give these women a more relaxed sense of help.

It’s also a need to be sure that you are a loyal partner who is willing to contribute your part in the relationship. A Thai woman will want you to bring your end of the bargain up to speed when trying to make a relationship more beneficial for everyone. This means that you have to show that you are just as committed to a relationship as she is.

It is particularly a necessity to avoid treating her as though she is part of a class. The problem with society is that it is far too class-based. This means that some women are treated better than others. However, this does not mean that a woman should be treated differently from other women in the United States or any other country.

Therefore, you should be certain that you don’t talk down to your Thai woman or treat her as someone who is inferior to others. This should be done so you’ll keep your relationship going with her without risking any pains in the process.

Cross cultural dating is not too hard to do when you watch for how you behave. It’s not too hard to get Thai women these days if you simply do things right when talking to her and treating her right.

Cross-Cultural Relationships – Which Countries Are the Most Popular for Mail Order Brides and Why?

The mail order bride is one of the most interesting parts of cross-cultural relationships that you could ever notice. This is a woman who is looking to list herself out in a catalog for marriage to a man. It is an unusual consideration for a relationship but it has become a popular way for men to find women in different relationships. There are many places where women in these cross-cultural relationships can come from.

The Philippines is one of the most popular places for mail order brides to come from. It’s estimated by the Commission on Filipinos Overseas that about ten percent of all marriages between people within the country and foreigners are cross cultural marriages. In addition, the distribution of mail order brides from within this country is at least five times higher than most other countries in Asia. Much of this is thanks to the lax sense of protection for women in the country.

Indonesia is also a popular site for mail order brides as it is a country where the protection for women within the area is also lacking. However, it is also because many women want to get out of the country in order to avoid the unemployment and economic issues within Indonesia. Some women particularly want to get their families sponsored for immigration purposes and will therefore consult people who want to order brides from this country.

Colombia is the most popular place in South America for mail order brides according to the Department of State. Much of this is due to the need for women to get out of the country due to serious issues involving gender inequality. In fact, honor killings are technically illegal in Colombia, but this has not prompted people to stop engaging in these actions over time.

Eastern European countries are also popular places for mail order brides primarily due to how difficult it is for many women to actually find men to marry. The United States Census Bureau states that there are several million more women than men in Eastern Europe and that women are expected to live at least ten to fifteen years longer than men in these countries on average. This is a number that shows that there is a clear desire for women to want to get out of the area and marry men elsewhere.

Russia, Ukraine, Belarus and Lithuania are among the most popular places in Eastern Europe for these brides to come from. In fact, these countries have been known for being popular spaces for human trafficking and sex slavery, thus prompting many women to want to get out of the area even if it means taking in a bride from North America or elsewhere.

These are all popular places where cross-cultural relationships start from. Some of these brides come from how they can get out their countries easily but some of these women want to get into this field simply as a means of survival in society.

Countries are the most popular for mail order brides are Philippines and Indonesia as well as Colombia Russia Ukraine Belarus and so on.

International Relationships: A Perfect Solution

Like many others, I am tired of ugliness that some men show toward women and that some women show toward men. I would like to propose a rational solution to this problem.

There are many men who want an obedient wife, and there are many women who want to be either free of men or to be in more equal relationships. Fortunately the world is a big place, and it can accommodate them all. And the way to achieve this is as follows:

Let men who want obedient wives go with women from other places.

Most women outside the Western world would love to come to the West. If they get together with a Western man, the outcome will work for both parties. The woman would have a chance at a better life. And the man would also have a chance at a better life – with a woman who would be grateful to him and would be willing to treat him accordingly.

One major mistake that many men make is go for free-spirited women whom they find attractive, but expect from them the behavior of a traditional wife. This never works. Free spirits are one way; traditional wives are another. These men go for the women they find attractive and then seek to bludgeon them into being something that they are not. And this is a recipe for nothing but misery for both parties.

If you want a traditional wife, then go for a traditional woman. There are plenty of them, especially in places like Iran, India, Thailand, Ukraine and Brazil. If their race puts you off, then get over your racism. These women know how to treat a man right, and for a man who wants a submissive partner this is the way to go.

For the Western women, this would work as well. They would be free of unwanted attentions of conservative men and would be able to be either – single, Lesbian, or with a man who believes in gender equality. And yes, these exist as well and are frequently not people whom one expects them to be.

Global economy has achieved a vast benefit on a number of levels. In just three decades, a billion people rose out of abject poverty in China alone, while the Western consumers got cheaper appliances, Western business grew vastly, and now even the American workers are starting to benefit as the newly wealthy Chinese are buying American cars. Global relationships would achieve a similar outcome in matters of relationships. Western men will get the kinds of women that they want; women elsewhere will get to enjoy a better life; and Western women will be free to be what they want to be and not have to bow down to a patriarchial or authoritarian man. For this reason I regard this to be the perfect solution to gender issues – one that benefits everyone involved in the outcome.

Who would be made losers from this? The people who deserve to be losers – Taliban and suchlike who like to be horrible to women and demand everything of women while demanding nothing of themselves. They will lose their captive audience, and then they will have to improve their attitude and behavior if they want to be with a woman.

And the result, consequently, will be a better world for everyone.

International Relationships: A Perfect Solution

Like many others, I am tired of ugliness that some men show toward women and that some women show toward men. I would like to propose a rational solution to this problem.

There are many men who want an obedient wife, and there are many women who want to be either free of men or to be in more equal relationships. Fortunately the world is a big place, and it can accommodate them all. And the way to achieve this is as follows:

Let men who want obedient wives go with women from other places.

Most women outside the Western world would love to come to the West. If they get together with a Western man, the outcome will work for both parties. The woman would have a chance at a better life. And the man would also have a chance at a better life – with a woman who would be grateful to him and would be willing to treat him accordingly.

One major mistake that many men make is go for free-spirited women whom they find attractive, but expect from them the behavior of a traditional wife. This never works. Free spirits are one way; traditional wives are another. These men go for the women they find attractive and then seek to bludgeon them into being something that they are not. And this is a recipe for nothing but misery for both parties.

If you want a traditional wife, then go for a traditional woman. There are plenty of them, especially in places like Iran, India, Thailand, Ukraine and Brazil. If their race puts you off, then get over your racism. These women know how to treat a man right, and for a man who wants a submissive partner this is the way to go.

For the Western women, this would work as well. They would be free of unwanted attentions of conservative men and would be able to be either – single, Lesbian, or with a man who believes in gender equality. And yes, these exist as well and are frequently not people whom one expects them to be.

Global economy has achieved a vast benefit on a number of levels. In just three decades, a billion people rose out of abject poverty in China alone, while the Western consumers got cheaper appliances, Western business grew vastly, and now even the American workers are starting to benefit as the newly wealthy Chinese are buying American cars. Global relationships would achieve a similar outcome in matters of relationships. Western men will get the kinds of women that they want; women elsewhere will get to enjoy a better life; and Western women will be free to be what they want to be and not have to bow down to a patriarchial or authoritarian man. For this reason I regard this to be the perfect solution to gender issues – one that benefits everyone involved in the outcome.

Who would be made losers from this? The people who deserve to be losers – Taliban and suchlike who like to be horrible to women and demand everything of women while demanding nothing of themselves. They will lose their captive audience, and then they will have to improve their attitude and behavior if they want to be with a woman.

And the result, consequently, will be a better world for everyone.

Risks and Rewards in Cross Cultural Marriages

It is a fact of life that inter-racial marriages are increasing rapidly in the United States. Why is this? Following reasons have been put forth by sociologists and demographers.

  • Immigration of young men and women into the US past 25 years
  • Increasing student population at colleges and universities from different cultural and ethnic backgrounds
  • More professional and social association of individuals with diverse backgrounds–through online sites, professional groups, activist groups etc.
  • Increased social acceptance of cross racial marriages
  • Globalization, which has increased awareness of other cultures and appreciation for people of other cultures

So do cross-cultural or inter-racial marriages make for long lasting unions?

Unfortunately, no. In fact, evidence is that such marriages fall apart before the customary measure of 10 years, even more than same-race marriages.

As you can imagine, there are special challenges in cross-racial unions. Each race is an amalgam of culture, practices, faiths, rituals and racial behaviors, whether we like it or not. When you try to fuse cultures, conflicts can arise.

Here are some tips on how to sustain a inter-racial marriage.

1. Have low expectations of acceptability. This is not a “downer” statement but a fact of life. You may be lucky and be accepted with open arms into the other family, you may not be. It is prudent to start out with an expectation that you have to “prove” yourself, at least within reasonable bounds, to be loved and accepted. The more “normal” and “mainstream” you appear, the higher the chances that if not all, you will find love in some corners of the other side.

2. Be yourself–within bounds of reason. Do not flaunt your religion, faith, cultural eccentricities etc. A friend of mine married a Middle-Eastern girl. He loved bacon and ham, taboo in the girl’s family circles. He wisely chose to avoid pork products when eating out. This is just a small token of respect for the other family’s traditions.

3. Take a stand on important things, leave trivial things alone. Again, you do not need to assert yourself at every step.

4. Understand other cultures, even if you do not agree with all of its aspects. Indian men and women talk loudly and do not use formal expressions of thanks nearly as much as westerners do. This is just their cultural upbringing. You may not agree with it, but resist “changing” their behavior. Instead, if you have to flaunt anything, flaunt the grace of western culture and reciprocity. Will it be a teachable moment for them? Maybe. You at least will have the satisfaction of taking the high road, and can proudly look your fiance or spouse in the eye.

5. Work it out with your partner about certain protocols involving children, visits, stays etc. In some cultures, it is considered “normal” to sudden descend upon your relatives’ homes and stay for days. Do not allow it. Gently, but firmly you must establish, with the help of your spouse, the bounds of what is tolerable behavior, even from your close relatives.